“Do you need anything?”
I immediately closed out the text message with a big sigh. Not because I don’t know how to answer the question. The amount of things I need is so long that I don’t think I can fit it in that tiny little box, so I just say nothing. I say nothing because it’s too much to say and too much to think about. I don’t want to think about what I need. I want the things that I need just to show up and maybe have a few unexpected delights occur. It sounds like a lot to ask, but is it really?
Ok, I think we’ve all been there before, right? Being a new mom is hard, and we all know they need support, but it can be challenging at times to figure out how to show up for them. You call, text, and check-in but still feel like that might not be enough. Here are a few easy ways to support and show up for a new mom without sending over the dreading “Do you need anything” text.
Let mama lead the way
Sometimes the best gift you can give is giving someone exactly what they asked for. A cool way to do this for a new mama is using the Mothership Rising app. Mothership Rising is an app that provides support and encouragement to mamas by having their friends and family create a nurturing circle and sign up for days to check in on them via text. Like a meal train of emotional support, their community can create a support circle, and the app will handle the signing up process. The app sends a text to the mama and the “daily support” friend with a prompt to start the conversation so that the mama can get encouragement and the kind of support she needs from her network. This does require the birthing person or partner to set this up, preferably before the baby, but it allows them to set the tone for the kind of help they need and want. This free app is the perfect way to communicate and support a new family.
Send Gift Cards
Yes, we know you make a mean casserole, but chances are, so does everyone else in her life, and her fridge and freezer are probably full. Let’s be honest; you can only really enjoy three threes and four tops before you are ready for something different. This is when you insert a gift card here! Send her a doordash, uber eats, postmates, or Grubhub gift card so that she can get something different delivered. This requires minimum communication but makes a significant impact especially on day 4 of casseroles 🙂
Give her your time
The best gift I think you can give is someone your time. The one thing that people struggle with asking for, especially new parents, is for other people’s time. It feels like an inconvenience, especially when it’s so they can take a nap or shower. However, we know those things need to happen, and here’s how to navigate this one.
Here is a sample message you can send to the new mama to help take the pressure off.
“Hey, mama, I’ve been thinking about you and would love to offer some support to you. I can come over and watch the baby for 2 hours while you do whatever you need, or I can pick a few things from target for you. Let me know which one and what day works best for you.”
If she has other kids, you can also ask to watch the older kids so she can get someone on one bonding time with the newborn.
Drop off a gift basket
Want to be her best friend for life? Send her a quick text and tell her she has something at the front door. That’s it! That’s the tip. You create a little gift basket of goodies for her, the baby, and her partner and let them get back to snuggling and cuddling. Here are some gift basket ideas
- On the go breakfast items and snacks
- Sitz bath
- Water bottle
- Bone Broth
Send her “I’m thinking of you” Text
Postpartum and the early days of motherhood are exhausted and can be very challenging to navigate. Our bodies go through so much, and we are at the beginning of healing and figuring out life with a newborn. During these days, it’s hard to even think about reaching out, so let her know you are still there. She might not need much, but when she sees “I’m thinking of you.” or “You got this mama” in the wee hours of the morning trying to put a screaming baby to sleep, she will appreciate you seeing her at that moment.
Postpartum is complicated, and sometimes it’s just as hard to figure out how to support the ones you love. Tell us in the comments how you have shown up for the new mamas in your life?